Trust Birth?
What does that mean, anyway?
Adapted from a recent post on Pam England's blog:
PREGNANT WOMEN ARE CONSTANTLY BEING TOLD what to believe, fear, and do—after all "(acquired) knowledge is power." Then they are told: "trust yourself!" The mother-to-be, trying to do it right, is clobbered with clichés and mixed messages.
When we have not yet lived a life-changing event, one that we anticipate living in the future (e.g., college, vacations, a wedding, childbirth), we can only idealize, dream, fantasize about the event from a place of innocence and trust. This is why when a woman is at the beginning of her first childbearing year, she is often in a place of Innocence and Trust. This is why we must meet her there and listen to what she already trusts and doesn't trust before we try to cliche her or lead her our way.
And yet, there are many who do not understand this part of birth as a hero's journey, who inadvertently encourage mothers to remain in innocence and vague trust. What exactly she should "trust" is up for grabs and will be determined by the one advising it. It might be an order to unconditionally trust her body, or trust in a benevolent Force to protect her, or trust the wisdom of some expert, or even to trust her own intuition—even though (she will soon find out) nobody else will trust or allow her to act upon it!
For this reason, this cliché message to "trust" is often, or later becomes, confusing to parents. Without context and self-inquiry, it can be fodder for future emotional trauma.
When a mother shares her Innocent Trust openly with others, she will invariably encounter one of two responses from: those who share or support her innocence and keep her dreaming sweetly, or from those who will dash or dismiss her innocence and trust in a misguided attempt to prepare her for the future moment in which she loses her innocence. But neither sweet support nor jaded warnings serve to prepare the initiate to meet that moment that awaits her.
When we have not yet lived a life-changing event, one that we anticipate living in the future (e.g., college, vacations, a wedding, childbirth), we can only idealize, dream, fantasize about the event from a place of innocence and trust. This is why when a woman is at the beginning of her first childbearing year, she is often in a place of Innocence and Trust. This is why we must meet her there and listen to what she already trusts and doesn't trust before we try to cliche her or lead her our way.
And yet, there are many who do not understand this part of birth as a hero's journey, who inadvertently encourage mothers to remain in innocence and vague trust. What exactly she should "trust" is up for grabs and will be determined by the one advising it. It might be an order to unconditionally trust her body, or trust in a benevolent Force to protect her, or trust the wisdom of some expert, or even to trust her own intuition—even though (she will soon find out) nobody else will trust or allow her to act upon it!
For this reason, this cliché message to "trust" is often, or later becomes, confusing to parents. Without context and self-inquiry, it can be fodder for future emotional trauma.
When a mother shares her Innocent Trust openly with others, she will invariably encounter one of two responses from: those who share or support her innocence and keep her dreaming sweetly, or from those who will dash or dismiss her innocence and trust in a misguided attempt to prepare her for the future moment in which she loses her innocence. But neither sweet support nor jaded warnings serve to prepare the initiate to meet that moment that awaits her.
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